I was calling VA (Veterans Administration) centers for a project today. The automated voicemail system gave me these prompts. First choice: "If you are having a medical emergency hang up and dial 911."  Second choice: "The suicide hotline is 800-..." Third choice: If you are calling about the swine flu..." Dial 1 if you are calling during regular adminstrative hours. "I dialed 1: "If you are having an emotional crisis dial 1." If I wasn't having one before, I'm having one now!!